i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
