laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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