Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Boobs speak an international language.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
