I got chris browned last night
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
