Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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