Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
