Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
