He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
