weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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