Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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