But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
