Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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