He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize