So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
