The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
