i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
