i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
