you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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