My hand turned me down
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
