whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I can text with my tongue
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
