I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
