I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
