Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
