I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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