have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
