i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
