So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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