We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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