is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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