So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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