I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
