It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
