Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
