Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
