fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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