That's intense
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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