we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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