If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
