This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
