Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
