in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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