is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize