I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
