i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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