i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
