Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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