I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
