I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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