And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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