I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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