just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
