He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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