Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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