Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
