just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I die, sorry about rent.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
