Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
