I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You made out with two different species that night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
