one might say we're banned from that church
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
