Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
