The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
