Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Mom said you looked used
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
