He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
