apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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