Can Purell be used as lube?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
