Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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