Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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