Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
