My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
