the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
