Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
