I wish I could punch you in the face.
how can u be prego again
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
