PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
