She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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