Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
