plz talk dirty to me
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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