You made me cry and you don't even care
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
